“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.”
- Robert Louise Stevenson, The Happiness Project, page 285
"The laws of happiness are as fixed as the laws of chemistry."- The Happiness Project, page 7
In Rubin’s year-long happiness project, she started by first identifying what brought her joy, satisfaction and engagement and also what brought her guilt, anger, boredom and remorse. Secondly, she made resolutions by identifying the concrete actions that would boost her happiness. A resolution, she says, is significantly different than a goal in the way you ‘hit’ a goal but you ‘keep’ a resolution.
Then came the interesting part: keeping the resolutions. With energy, discipline, accountability and perseverance Rubin successfully stuck to the following resolutions each month. Here they are. Which ones do you need to work on?
"I found that the ruby red slippers had been on my feet all along."- The Happiness Project, page 289
“I found that the ruby red slippers had been on my feet all along.” P. 289
While philosophers, scientists, saints, and charlatans have provided us with laws to happiness, there is one large caveat: even if you apply all the ideas Rubin outlines above, you can still fail if you don’t choose to be happy. Simply put, if you don’t believe you are happy, then you’re not! As Publilius Syrus observed, “No man is happy who does not think himself so”.
You need to do everything in your power to appreciate the life you have and choose to be happy. A driving thought for Rubin was her fear of someday looking back and saying “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner!” (2). She worried that some event, some phone call, would make her say “How happy I used to be then, if only I’d realized it” (2).
"Best is good, better is best."- Lisa Grunwald, The Happiness Project, page 178
Would you rather have job A that pays $30,000 in year one, $40,000 in year two and $50,000 in year three or job B that pays $60,000 in year one, $50,000 in year two and $40,000 in year three? Isn’t it strange that somehow job A seems more appealing even though it means at the end of three years you would have made $120,000 instead of $150,000? The fact that people generally pick job A is a testament to the importance of growth to our happiness.
Have you ever achieved a big goal and then had a let down? It is often preferable to be progressing towards the summit than it is to be at the summit! Do you help yourself and your team to grow? You may have thought it unnecessary to create a ‘thermometer,’ or a visual measure of progress, but this highlights the value.
So was she happier at the end of the year? You bet! And it wasn’t just Rubin but her husband was happier also. At the end of the year, she found that she could change her life without changing her life. She didn’t need to move or find a new relationship or a new job. She needed to be grateful for what she had and discipline herself to make the tweaks in her life that are proven to bring greater joy. What one little thing do you know you need to do?
Gretchen Rubin’s is the author of the #1 New York Times and international bestseller “The Happiness Project”—an account of the year she spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, the current scientific studies, and the lessons from popular culture about how to be happier. On her popular blog, The Happiness Project, she reports on her daily adventures in the pursuit of happiness.
